Beach Babes & Duds
by Azkadellio
Summary: While on break between tours, Tori and Andre head to a popular beach spot, where they make some new friends. No pairings, but possible ones at the end. T for language and some threats (you'll see). One-shot.


**Another new one-shot to help me get back into writing. This one is more lighthearted than **_**'Blood Soaked Lesbians'**_**. In this, everyone is in their early to mid twenties, Tori and Andre are a popular pop duo with Tori singing and Andre doing backup vocals and guitar/piano, Jade's a famous author and actress/director, Beck's an actor on television but not big time yet, and Cat's a costume designer/make-up artist who works on some of Jade's films.**

**Heads up: This takes place at a topless beach. Originally I was going to use a nude beach, but topless fits better, I think.**

**Finally, no couples in this, but there is a hint of one by the end.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**'VicTORious'**_** or any characters.**

**No POV**

It's a usual day in L.A., sun's out and the temperature is in the high seventies, with a gentle breeze near the ocean. The beach, like most beaches in California, currently has many people enjoying the sun and breeze. The one thing different is that there are no children or anyone under twenty-one present.

"Whoa." Tori, known worldwide as the 'Angel of California' for her voice, looks, and behavior, says as she and her best friend/business partner Andre walk onto the beach, her eyes looking around.

"Yeah, and she's one of the plain looking ones on this beach." Andre says, amused by Tori's reaction to a young woman, in her mid-twenties by the looks of her, walks by them with a beach bag under her arm. "No idea why so many models, actors, and aspiring models-slash-actors come to this beach all the time." He says, nodding to the woman walking by.

"It's not that." Tori says, a blush on her cheeks as Andre leads her to a spot about halfway down the beach.

"What? Oh, the boobs." Andre says, nodding when it clicks. "I told you this was a topless beach." He points out, laying his towel down.

"Yeah, but you didn't tell me I'd see _those_." Tori says, quickly looking down as another woman walks by, her breasts bouncing with each step.

"Uh, help. 'Topless'." Andre says, chuckling.

Across the beach, as Tori and Andre get their stuff set up and Tori slowly, cautiously, takes off her shirt and bikini top, two women in their mid-twenties lay on beach towels, one pale and busty, the other tanned and petite. "One of these days, I'm bringing my scissors." The pale one, Jade, says as she glares at another model-wannabe staring at her chest.

"And on that day, I'll visit you in prison." Her friend Cat says, ignoring the stares. "Besides, what do you expect? You have double Ds and a gorgeous body to go with your gorgeous face. Just be happy the lifeguards are always watching for pervs wanting to cop a feel." She comments, closing her eyes and leaning back.

"Doesn't mean I have to be okay with the stares and tents in their shorts." Jade says as she reaches for her beach bag, regretting it when one guy blatantly 'adjusts' himself in front of Jade. "Cat, where's the bottle of tanning oil you used?" She asks, knowing how big the bottle is.

"In my bag, and no, you're not using it to hit guys in the junk from a fifteen yards." Cat answers, opening her eyes long enough to judge the distance between them and the guy staring at Jade's chest.

"Fine. I'll use my sunblock." Jade counters, reaching for the smaller bottle in her bag.

"Jade West. I love seeing you here." A male voice says, making Jade and Cat turn to look at the cause of the voice.

"Beckett Oliver. Still getting small parts as extras who die in the first ten seconds of a show or movie?" Jade asks, closing her eyes again and leaning back.

"Unlike you, I didn't use my daddy's money to make it big." Beck says, standing in front of Jade and Cat, glancing between their breasts. "Have you considered implants, Cat? A's are cute and all, but you'd look much better with C's or D's." He says condescendingly.

"Have you considered an implant of your own? I mean, girls like tic tacs and all, but not with the guy they're trying to have sex with." Cat counters, making Jade smirk and Beck glare at her.

"Watch it, bitch." Beck says, taking a threatening step towards the smaller girl.

"Got a magnifying glass? I can't see it yet." Cat counters again, a smirk of her own.

"Okay, okay. Walk away, Beck, before you're forced out for the third, and final, time." A new voice, this one female, chimes in. Turning around, Beck sees a familiar lifeguard, Trina, standing behind him, her hands on her hips.

"Just having some fun." Beck says, raising his arms in defense, leaving the women behind him.

"Can I shoot him with a cannon?" Jade asks the lifeguard, glaring at Beck's retreating form.

"If you can legally get one, carry it here with you, load it and aim it without him knowing, and guaranteeing no one else gets hit, sure." Trina says before returning to her post.

**An Hour Later**

After eating a small lunch, Tori and Andre sit across from each other at a small café, their bags on the ground between them, as they work on a new song. "What about the lyrics 'Time comes and memories fade; But we'll never have to hide in the shade'?" Tori asks, looking up as she types the lyrics on her laptop.

"It doesn't really fit with the song, you know? I like the 'time comes and memories fade' bit, but the part about 'shade' doesn't work." Andre says, working on a melody. What about 'But we'll never forget the memories we've made'? It fits better, and goes with the first line."

"Yeah, I like it." Tori says, deleting the second half of the lyrics and typing out the new ones.

As they go back and forth, they're unaware of a new person joining their table. "Tori Vega, world famous popstar, showing the people her tits." Beck says, staring at Tori's chest.

"Uh, who are you?" Andre asks, glaring at Beck, as Tori covers her chest.

"Beck Oliver. Actor." Beck answers, not looking at Andre. "Want to become Hollywood's hottest couple?" He asks Tori, eyes not looking up.

"Sorry, not into dicks." Andre answers for his shy friend, kicking Beck to get his attention.

"Don't fucking kick me, dude." Beck says, finally looking away from Tori. "Just because you're not man enough for her doesn't mean you can stop her from finding her soul mate." He says arrogantly, glaring at Andre.

"Don't fucking stare at my best friend. She's not interested, she never will be, and trust me, I'm not the one lacking masculinity here." Andre says, making no move to back down from Beck's glare.

"Ooh, nice boobs." Cat interrupts, sitting across from Beck and poking a small bit of Tori's boob not covered by her arms. "B cups?" She asks, flicking off Beck as she ignores him.

"I'm guessing B's, small or medium." Jade chimes in, standing behind Cat and glaring at Beck. "You're not invited. Walk away. Now." She tells him, not looking away.

"Why don't the three of you fight over me? Winner gets a night with me." Beck says smugly, smirking at Jade's revealed chest.

"Out of curiosity, a night to do what?" Cat asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Fuck you? I'd rather sew my vagina shut then superglue the lips together." Jade deadpans, staring at Beck. "Kill you? I don't need all night for that. I can stab you in the skull in a few seconds if you're lucky." She continues, keeping the deadpan.

"Ooh, can I do his make-up and dress him for his funeral? I know the perfect shade of pink." Cat asks happily, clapping her hands.

"If you think she's kidding, trust me. She has the dress and make-up already planned, just doing the finishing touches on the hair." Jade says, walking over the Beck.

"Look, I don't get the feeling she's kidding, about anything, so leave. You're not welcome here, and I know the number of the current captain of the LAPD. Let's see how you like being questioned by the father of a world famous popstar?" Andre warns, a small smirk on his face at the fear on Beck's face.

"Wait. Are you related to Trina?" Cat asks as Beck walks away, her attention fully on Tori.

"Uh, yeah. She's my sister." Tori answers, confused.

"So, you got the talent and she got the boobs." Jade says, taking Beck's seat. "Got to say, I'm glad. Smaller boobs look better on you than big ones would." She says, eyeing Tori's chest momentarily.

"Who are you?" Cat asks, looking at Andre and surprised that his attention isn't on Jade's large chest. "And are you gay?"

"Andre Harris, and no. Why would you ask me that?" Andre asks, staring dumbfounded at Cat.

"Because you're not staring at anyone's boobs. You're either a really nice guy, or gay." Cat asks, striking up a conversation with him as Jade starts one with Tori.

"I was raised by my grandma, and she raised me right." Andre answers, somewhat surprised at how calm Tori seems talking with Jade, her hands slowly moving to her sides.

"So, you do like boobs?" Cat asks, smiling at Andre.

"Yeah. Why?" Andre asks, confused by the conversation.

"This is why." Cat answers, grabbing Andre's hand and holding it to her chest, amused by the shock on his face. "Hee hee. Nice grip." She says, making him try to pull his hand free.

**And this is how I'm ending it. Sorry for the Tori/Jade being more background. Wanted to try something new.**

**Oh, though this isn't related to this one-shot, happy Valentine's Day.**

**Thank you for reading. Hope you liked it and leave a review.**

**Blessed Be.**


End file.
